I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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