That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
