Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
