Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
