you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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