i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
