paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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