Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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