and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
