Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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