I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
