Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
