No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
