ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
