Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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