In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
