I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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