Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
