I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
