whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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