all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
