my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
