why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
