bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
