dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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