HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
