You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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