I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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