Already got asked if we're dating
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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