sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
