Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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