thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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