bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
