About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
