I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
