Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
