Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
