Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
