I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
