I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
there is glitter all over my balls
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