I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
