awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
