its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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