I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
