You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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