she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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