Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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