Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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