I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
