its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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